Men Are from “Mars”, Women Are From “Hershey”

Posted on | March 30, 2009 |

by Holly Buchanan
It has been suggested that men and women are from different planets.  Well, from the research I’ve done over the past four years, I can vouch for the fact that we sometimes speak different languages.

Women and men often have a different communication style, using different words.   Some words and phrases favored by men actually have a negative connotation for women. 

I was reminded of this while reading an Ad Age article about a new chocolate bar from Mars called “Fling.”  Mars is marketing this new bar to women.  This is a smart move, considering brain studies have shown that women have a stronger craving for chocolate than men.  But the verbiage and messaging of the campaign gave me pause. Here’s what Ad Age reported:

Print work for the brand declares “It’s not cheating if you don’t feel guilty,” “Your boyfriend doesn’t need to know,” and “Pleasure yourself.”

Wow - this is the verbiage Mars is using to appeal to women?  Really?  Let’s look at these messages one by one.

“It’s not cheating if you don’t feel guilty.”   I always caution against using powerful words with a negative.  The brain has a way of negating the negative so you hear the phrase “it’s cheating, feel guilty.”    This is especially bad since two words that have very negative connotations for women are “cheating” and “guilty”.   

“Your boyfriend doesn’t need to know.”   There are so many problems with this message I don’t even know where to start.  This is bad from the perspective of, what if she is single?   Should you be making her feel self-conscious about her single status?  And talk about judgmental - this is something you shouldn’t be doing because your boyfriend wouldn’t approve.   Is that really the message you want to send?

(Note:  Men put an extreme value on independence, so while this message might work for men, women put an emphasis on interdependence, which is why I think they may not respond to this tactic.)

Finally “pleasure yourself.”    Hmmm, how can I put this delicately?   While guys can joke around about this subject, women really don’t.  Joke around about it that is.    There’s still a societal veil of shame around this subject for women.  I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just sayin.  This message might make her feel uncomfortable.

Why women are from Hershey

Compare this language to a similar product, “Bliss” from Hershey:

Introducing HERSHEY’S BLISS chocolate. Only HERSHEY’S can indulge your chocolate passion with something that’s simply BLISS! HERSHEY’S BLISS chocolate is for those who appreciate the everyday joys of chocolate. Smooth, creamy HERSHEY’S BLISS chocolate gives you an indulgent just-for-you experience every time, with a rich taste you’ll want to savor longer.

This message is full of female-friendly verbiage: Indulge (not cheat or guilt), passion (not self-pleasuring), appreciation of joy, savor longer.

Double check your marketing messages to make sure they are sending the right message, and using female friendly words.  

If you’d like to do more research on this subject, I highly recommend Deborah Tannen’s - You Just Don’t Understand, Women and Men In Conversation.

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